this probs won’t make much sense. just a heads up.
i keep thinking about this, and it’s probably because i can’t quite figure out what i believe about it.
i can’t even word the question to what i’m wondering. so here goes absolutely nothing.
how do we have standards for ourselves, without putting expectations on others?
and what are the different categories of expectations. some expectations are in place because of the social construct of reality, but that pretty much means they could be totally off. so what ones are based off of human needs and basic rights. i had a friend recently tell me how her boyfran had bought her flowers or something for her birthday. she was super pumped and we were all like “oh that’s awesome!” but i got thinking about it, and i was like yeah, but you “deserve” that. except i don’t like the word deserve. so i guess it can sounds kind of arrogant, but that’s not the point. so how does this girl recognize and know that she is valued and should strive for the best, without getting a feeling of self-entitlement.
maybe it comes back to the value system. value is like my word of the year.
buuut maybe flowers and stuff is put above the actual relationship. because realistically, flowers represent the fact that you care about that person. so it’s more about an idea and an emotion. which ideally both people would be on the same page about. except this transfers to friendships as well. relationships is just an easy analogy. i expect that my friends will do A,B, and C but why do i expect that. i want people in my life to tell me when i am expecting the wrong things.
i have no idea where i’m going with this.
